Five years ago it was a Saturday and I spent the evening in bed with my very best friend as she took her last breath. My brain constantly tortures me with the memory of her temperature changing beneath my skin. Your grandparents are supposed to die before you. Every child is supposed to understand that… Continue reading 10/21
Earlier this week I was putting together an online portfolio to keep better track of my work. As I selected a few posts that I’ve shared on here, I found myself writing a new one in my head about how far we’ve come (me and the girl who started this blog… and I guess you,… Continue reading Updates
All of my trousers hang in my closet in a specific way so that they stay creased down the center of each leg. The black pair that I thought would be best for the occasion were for some reason folded with my jeans on the shelf. I can’t remember putting them away there, especially since… Continue reading Thoughts While Steaming Pants for a Child’s Funeral
I’ve written enough partial manuscripts that if you combined the pages, they would be comparable to the length of the entire Harry Potter series. I had a sticky note on my vanity mirror in high school: PUBLISH FIRST NOVEL BY AGE 21 which genuinely felt realistic. I knew Mary Shelley came up with Frankenstein when… Continue reading Writing About Writing
You cannot pluck, tweak, diet, exercise, or pinch away your negative self image. There is nothing physical about it. You compare your body to something unattainable. You try on facial features that you see on women who aren’t you. Why are you so hard on yourself? You don’t need to look like her. Or her.… Continue reading be nicer to yourself
It always impresses me when people say they can recall conversations and events that they experienced as far back to when they were toddlers. I can remember all the birthdays of people who made even the slightest appearance in my life. I can recall my old girl scout troop number as well as the names… Continue reading Pulling Strings
I have gotten used to the moment where my phone interrupts my scrolling to let me know that I’m down to 20% and I should probably switch to low power mode. I check the time, it is noon, that is great. In the ~outside world~ (that’s what I like to call it now), I can… Continue reading Writers’ Block in a Time When There’s Nothing Else to Do
I was laid off today. In any other scenario, I would be devastated. Right now, I do feel worried for what my future holds. I am inconvenienced. I’ve filed for unemployment for the first time so I feel a little bit humbled as well. I feel sad for the company I worked for and I… Continue reading Pandemic Thoughts
As I sit here a week after the 4th anniversary of Sam’s death, now feeling the loss of a celebrity I’ve never met, my body is tense all over - like the grief I’ve sorted through for years formed a fist that’s been clenched since Sunday. I was on a skiing trip with my boyfriend… Continue reading Tossing Paper Balls into Trash Cans
I haven't published anything on here in awhile because I've always been a big proponent of writing about what hurts. I guess I was sifting through the hurt for too long and forgot how to write about what doesn't. For years I've been told I'm "too intense." I feel too much, too fast. I've also been… Continue reading Change of Pace
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