I’ve written enough partial manuscripts that if you combined the pages, they would be comparable to the length of the entire Harry Potter series. I had a sticky note on my vanity mirror in high school: PUBLISH FIRST NOVEL BY AGE 21 which genuinely felt realistic. I knew Mary Shelley came up with Frankenstein when… Continue reading Writing About Writing
Author: amyfillhouer
be nicer to yourself
You cannot pluck, tweak, diet, exercise, or pinch away your negative self image. There is nothing physical about it. You compare your body to something unattainable. You try on facial features that you see on women who aren’t you. Why are you so hard on yourself? You don’t need to look like her. Or her.… Continue reading be nicer to yourself
Pulling Strings
It always impresses me when people say they can recall conversations and events that they experienced as far back to when they were toddlers. I can remember all the birthdays of people who made even the slightest appearance in my life. I can recall my old girl scout troop number as well as the names… Continue reading Pulling Strings
Writers’ Block in a Time When There’s Nothing Else to Do
I have gotten used to the moment where my phone interrupts my scrolling to let me know that I’m down to 20% and I should probably switch to low power mode. I check the time, it is noon, that is great. In the ~outside world~ (that’s what I like to call it now), I can… Continue reading Writers’ Block in a Time When There’s Nothing Else to Do
Pandemic Thoughts
I was laid off today. In any other scenario, I would be devastated. Right now, I do feel worried for what my future holds. I am inconvenienced. I’ve filed for unemployment for the first time so I feel a little bit humbled as well. I feel sad for the company I worked for and I… Continue reading Pandemic Thoughts
Tossing Paper Balls into Trash Cans
As I sit here a week after the 4th anniversary of Sam’s death, now feeling the loss of a celebrity I’ve never met, my body is tense all over - like the grief I’ve sorted through for years formed a fist that’s been clenched since Sunday. I was on a skiing trip with my boyfriend… Continue reading Tossing Paper Balls into Trash Cans
Change of Pace
I haven't published anything on here in awhile because I've always been a big proponent of writing about what hurts. I guess I was sifting through the hurt for too long and forgot how to write about what doesn't. For years I've been told I'm "too intense." I feel too much, too fast. I've also been… Continue reading Change of Pace
Tomorrow most of us will be spending the day with our loved ones, overeating and acknowledging the genocide and colonization of Native Americans and their land *ahem Thanksgiving* While the origin of this occasion is incredibly dark, the sentiment feels nice before we are draped in the cold, depressing months of winter. My religiously anchored… Continue reading
Alexa, Play My Chemical Romance
(This post is directly typed out from something I wrote in my journal a couple months ago. And yes, that is a photo of me in high school.) My parents and I had a hard time understanding each other. I know that sounds normal and actually quite common but there were layers to it. I… Continue reading Alexa, Play My Chemical Romance
Hey God, you up? I need something
When I sit down to write, the first draft is always pen and paper. About a tenth of the time, I will type it out on here to share with you all. Sometimes I write about God but I feel reluctant to bring Him into my dark little blog. You might be thinking, jeez you… Continue reading Hey God, you up? I need something